Hi, I’m Andy, or as some call me, Andyrazzi. Like a paparazzi, except I don’t look for celebrity upskirts, I look for drunk upskirts, candid upskirts and accidental upskirts.
The subject of today’s upskirt adventure is a girl I refer to as “The Patriot”. Jay and I were at an outdoor, daytime drunk fest – a perfect location for finding drunk upskirts, and “girls behaving badly”. This particular drunk upskirt fest took place in the late spring, and featured copious quantities of booze, music, and good looking women. Did I mention good looking drunk women? Right. Well, The Patriot was one of those good looking drunk women begging to be upskirted.
Initially, I didn’t pay too much attention to her, because her jean skirt was actually quite long. Nowhere near the ass cheek revealing, thigh exposing, easily upskirtable length that usually locks my attention like a crippled MiG on a F16′s targeting radar. I nabbed a couple shots of her early in the day while she was smoking that provided my eventual moniker for her: she was wearing thong panties with an American flag on the front panel. Hence, she became “The Patriot” in the cryptic “code” that Jay and I speak while covering major events and tourist attractions, after all, we can hardly yell out to each other “holy chopsticks, ChinaMan, look at her panties”, or “holy hairy Hasidics, JewMan, hair pie thong upskirt dead ahead!”. (don’t bother leaving obnoxious comments, we really are minorities, and usually call each other by offensive terms – but all in good fun and spirit). Anyway, I digress, back to “The Patriot” drunk Upskirt.
Quite a few hours had passed, and Jay and I had scored many other great upskirt photos of many other drunk girls sitting carelessly. And of course, tons of our prerequisite RealWorlds of short shorts, cameltoes and bra busting mondo boobs cleavage. I was standing near the stage, looking around when I was attacked in a very exotic and erotic way by a friendly, horny chubby girl – a light plumper if you will. Literally at the same moment, I looked down and noticed that “The Patriot” had just gone into a fetal position with her skirt hiked up to her sexy ass, and her patriotic thong panties nearly embedded in her shaved vagina.
Shit, what to do? It would have been insanely obvious if I’d suddenly crouched down in front of the chubby girl who was hitting on me and started upskirting “The Patriot”, and since there are also copious quantities of security officers at this drunk fest, I felt this would not be my wisest choice.
I frantically waved at Jay, who was perhaps 100ft away. He waved back at me, thinking I was being friendly. No, fuckstick, get over here now! Between my waving and gesturing, he finally got the idea I was not just being friendly, but I wanted him to get over to where I was ASAP. I shoved my camera – pre-configured for the shooting conditions – into his hands and told him to get on the job.
He gave me a blank stare – “whaaaa..???”. By this time I’m nearly beside myself – “The Patriot’s” vagina is nearly completely exposed – just a thin string of lace keeping the whole world from examining her “girl meat”, and my man Jay is looking around bewildered. I swear, I need to get him some glasses or something. “ChinaMan, her fucking vagina is showing” I yell in his ear over the thunder of the band on the PA system. “Who? Whaaa…?”, he’s still oblivious. FUCK!!!! “ChinaMan, FOLLOW my fucking eyes, ‘The Patriot’ only has a piece of string covering her fucking vagina. Fucking shoot it. My camera is set up. Just press the trigger, and FUCKING SHOOT!!! Go. Go. GO. GO NOW”.
How many amazing shots did we waste on that little exchange, I don’t know. But finally he was off. And like the psyco pit bull who just will not let go of the mutilated child in it’s jaws, Jay was tenaciously glued to “The Patriot” and her every drunken movement. At some point during his marathon session, “The Patriot’s” girl friend decided that “The Patriot” ought to sit up and drink some water. Well, of course this involved much struggling, and flailing of legs, meanwhile the poor skirt got hiked higher and higher until it was well above her ass. Our pit bull Jay’s tenacity paid off, because he delivered 65, count em, sixty FUCKING five shots of this epic vagina exposing drunk upskirt of “The Patriot”.
Sneakypedia – home of the world’s greatest accidental and drunk upskirts by Andyrazzi!